Thursday, December 10, 2009

Pants are soooo 2008.

There are many things about fashion that escape me entirely. Ask any of my friends and they'll tell you that if couture were a religion, I would be its Antichrist.

Until moving to the city, I was sporting t-shirts, jeans, and old tennis shoes to work. I've gotten better, but am still a hopeless cause. (My boot has a hole, since no one can really see it, I pretend it's not there. Shh. It's our little secret.)

Now that we're living up the street from the glory that is, La Tour Eiffel, I felt It was necessary to clean out the ole wardrobe. Goodbye hokey sweaters from 2005. Sayonara, used-to-be-white business shirts with giant pit stains. (Now if sweating were a religion, not only would I be its goddess, but I'd have a slew of perspiration minions to do my bidding.)

Alas, I have no minions, but I could sure use some to help me understand the latest French trend... pantlessness.

You read that correctly. Pant-less-ness.

I know we're in a recession, but, really? No pants? Are we so far gone that people can't afford pants anymore?

I thought pants were a part of the main course. The potatoes in the meat and potatoes. Then again, the saying goes "No shirt, no shoes" not, "No shirt, no pants". Maybe they were predicting a bottomless phase was about to explode on to the fashion scene and didn't want to limit the clientele.

What do these girls do I wonder? They wake up, put on a shirt, and maybe a scarf. Accessories galore. Leggings? Yes Please! Then they sway their bum to-and-fro in front of a mirror completely satisfied with their high-fashion sense. Now I see them, and think, "god she must be freezing her exposed ass off."

Call me a prude, but if I see one more camel toe or butt crack, it will be one too many.

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