I present to you, exhibits A through D as evidence there of:
Delicious, gooey, and equal parts pure lard and proteine, this French staple is always a part of holidays and Sunday dinners for the lactose tolerant.
Though delicious, if you enjoy eating things that have been rotting for at least a month, this is technically worse than eating a giant spoonful of Betty Crocker frosting. (so says CalorieCount, who gives it a big FAT F, on the healthy scale.)
The French cousin to our Pork & Beans. Vastly superior, naturally, instead of the random unidentifiable chunk of lard, the French went the extra mile to include several types of lardastic meats.
This is basically a huge mound of fatty bacon with some beans and buttery sauce poured over the top to hide the fact that you're mainly eating BACON.
I hope you enjoy the treadmill.
If you enjoy Brie and Cassoulet, you're going to flip your shit over Tartiflette. Here's how it works: Boil potatoes. Fry a [BLEEEEEEEEEEP] ton of bacon. Combine & melt more cheese over the top than should be consumed by any one human being. Faceplant. Heartattack. Resuscitation efforts. Backwards floating out of the white tunnel. Alive again. Bite #2.
I hope you have medical insurance.
Are you F***ing kidding me? No seriously, IS THIS A JOKE??
This is a ruse I tell you. A trick to allow people to say "See? I'm eating mashed potatoes", when really it's pure effing cheese.
As if this weren't enough, this is typically served over some fatabulous sausage. So basically fat, mixed with carbs, served over fat.
I have to say, I'm surprised at how many different ways the French have found to serve potatoes + cheese + fatty meats. They're so damn creative.
So, with that in mind, it's surprising to see the sudden attack on the beloved, NUTELLA.
Which, just to refresh your memory, looks like this -->
It's nothing short of amazing that this country, so fond of Nutella in all it's hazelnuttery, could ever try to pass a law to tax it into oblivion.
If I have one very solid memory of my Francais classes in high school it is how much we all assumed the French venerated this product.
But, it's true. They tried to add a tax to palm oil products, which would have quadrupled the current tax, and had an effect on the cost of products like this one.
Yet, as is typical in Frogland, it was promptly struck down a few days after voted in, and is set to be debated over (and over and over) again.
Let us bow our heads and pray, that the chocolate-fat-cheese-sausage-gods will allow us to continue the culinary traditions that make this country so delicious.