Monday, August 6, 2012

Watch this French guy DESTROY that cheese

I've done several posts about France and food. I'm not so much the "OMG this restaurant makes me incontinent I'm so excited to eat there!!!!" type, but it's a topic I feel the need to bring down a notch from time to time. This blog is no exception.

In the spirit of the Olympics which have taken over the planet, I've decided to turn the JNSQ spotlight on to a very important... wait, wait, no. Important is not quite cutting it. Let's go with... FURGIENT (or furious urgent for those who don't know me well enough to know I do this with all words in the English, and sometimes French, language).

Anyway. It's a FURGIENT subject, readers: competitive eating.

What? You (naively) thought the French didn't do this? That they spend hours and hours and (fucking) HOURS at the dinner table? Ok. You're not wrong. But *SOME* righteously awemazing people in France have boldly gone where no one else dared because they were (rightfully) expecting to be judged.

I submit to you, the cheese eating contest of Livarot in the Calvados region of France:

(Thanks to My Last Meal Will Be Made of Cheese for the link, you people should go like her page btw.)

For some Americans, even eating a molecule of French cheeses are a challenge, and really I can't blame them, even I wasn't sold at first taste. But I gotta hand it to this guy, he just sucked down a LOT of fucking cheese like it were some kind of semisolid fairy-magic-unicorn-dust, constipation BE DAMNED.

Even though I feel this is a step in the right direction, these guys still have a long way to go. I feel like they're style is lacking a certain "I'm eating this so fast that I literally have to make a chomping movement with my face because I cannot actually chew that fast without the help of gravity", that our great nation has perfected. Exhibit A:

But let's end this on a positive note, France -- you're on your way to disgustingly fast eating habits, and I SLUTE* YOU.

***UPDATE: I cannot beLIEVE I didn't comment on this before... I must have been delirious with the cold I was fighting when I wrote this. Who else absolutely LOVES that the first thing he does when the winner finishes, before he even has time to smile, IS PUKE UP CHEESE!!!!! He's all, "Whooo-hooo-oh-god-I'm-throw-ing-up-merde" lol. I adore this even more now.****

(*I typed "SLUTE" when I totally meant to type "SALUTE", but somehow feel it's appropriate because of the fromage-whore above. So it's staying. Deal with it.)


  1. Yes I was equally as shocked by this video! I'm a die hard cheese fan and it was almost enough to turn me off for a good week.... totally goes against the French way of eating huh?!

    1. Ha, yes, completely and totally against their 'norm', and that's why I loved this article lol, thanks for pointing it out!


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