Wednesday, January 5, 2011

WTF Wed: French are the Prophets of Doom 2011 & what it means

NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did your head explode yet? No? Didn't think so.

And the survey says: out of 53 countries, France has the most prophets of doom when it comes to 2011.

Seriously? We needed a poll to unearth this shocking tid bit? People were actually paid money to conclude that when you ask a French person how they feel about the future, the consensus will be something like, "I might try to shoot myself in the face if I can work up the motivation to leave the couch". Oy.

It has definitely joined the ranks of Cap'n Obvious' Best hits list. 

Of course, someone had to take 1st prize in the Grumpy pageant, and, OF COURSE, it's our beloved Frenchies. I mean, come on, they're against resolutions?! Might as well be against joy, double-rainbows, unicorn snuggles, and purring, calico kittens.

What's interesting to me is not that we needed someone to tell us the French are a bunch of "glass-isn't-half-empty-it's-fucking-dryer-than-a-bone" types.

It's that now we have a benchmark according to which we may compare just how cynical this nation is compared to other nations that are FAR worse off.

What does this say about the French? What does it say about the other countries?

Could it be that France feels like it's peaked, and can only go down hill from here? Has Sarko infringed so on the birth rights of French citizens that they feel 2011 is just another stepping stone to a molten hell on earth? Are the other countries in such a bad place, that things can only get better? Context plays a role, no doubt.

If you want the hard truth... I think it means we're spoiled. Rotten. Yes, we are a bunch of coddled two-year-olds, with chocolate cake crumbs on our cheeks, having a melt down in the parking lot because we got a puppy when we really wanted a pony.

Puppies are great people. Puppies effing ROCK. We have an amazing health care system, loads of functional social services, our streets are clean, our education isn't half bad, and "La Crise", didn't hit us as hard as a lot of other countries.

My hope is that this poll will influence the French. Maybe they'll finally get weirded out about being viewed as "the goth" in the world-class-room? Maybe they'll get tired of being a slew of frowny skeptics? Polls can have that effect.

If you ask me, and you didn't, I think the French could do with a good ole Thanksgiving holiday. They need to reflect on what they have, all they've achieved, and how far they've come.

Let's not forget that they used to chop off man-parts. This point alone should be enough to lift the moral of half the population, no?


  1. Couldn't agree more! I just thank God (& the powers that be) that I snagged a rare optimist.. call it winning the Frenchie lottery, but I couldn't hang with one of these grumpy-mumpies if you paid me...
    that said, he also has the same prob every once in a while of not realizing what he has in this golden-country..
    but not to worry, usually a couple of made-for-TV movies featuring gang shoot-outs in Los Angeles is enough to get him flying ye old flag of la republique again :)
    fun post, thanks!

  2. Thanks for sharing your opinion & for reading :) My hubs is pretty damn optimistic as well, it's pretty cool! He brightens up my mood when I catch the French Fever!

  3. Shannon

    Sorry, just caught your Tweet - this new technology....

    You would have been put forward for the Rant of the Week Award for this post (and would surely have won) but the committee (and various subcommittees) have all decided that you are winning altogether too many awards and are therefore disbarred unless you...

    1). Go apeshit with an AK47 in your local supermarket.

    2). Almost drown in a cow pat (that'll probably be rather difficult in the middle of Paris) or...

    3). Get pregnant and have a baby in time for the next Garlic Awards deadline (10pm next Monday.)

    Your choice....

    All the best


  4. OK hold up, what's this about awards? Only ones I'm eligible for would be workaholism and record number of cold showers due to a broken water heater.

    1) I am anti-gun. I'll go with water grenades filled with egg yolk instead.

    2) Screw the cow, dog is very possible though.

    3) a 48hr conception, carry and birth of a child... no pressure there K-dogg.

    You set the bar high my friend.
    xx S

  5. Salut !
    There is a French in the building !!!
    I liked everything I understood here (not that much actually, thanks!)
    I made a lot of polls in the 90's.
    It was two European sample groups-a week. Each time the French were bottom ranking in two subclasses:
    1) Is the grass greener somewhereelse?
    (if you were to move)
    Of course not for the French! It cant' be!
    2) Do you feel lucky to live in your country? Not that much! There is too much problems here!!!

    We are certainly bitter because were are so close to perfection!!!!
    99,99 percent happy, it doesn't exist! It's infuriating! We are almost living in heaven! Punishment worse than famishment and other scourges!
    That what I called the "craftsman syndrome".
    2 countries in the world have that clear thinking (99 percent perfect is a nonsense)because of two opposite reasons:
    JAPAN because there is no future without patriotism and a Japan two hundred percent Japanese.
    FRANCE because there is no future WITH patriotism, (with all the problems in this country! You are proud to be French, you boor?!)

    The French like any international thing if they are organizer.

    Compared to the universe, the world is not that bad, it has a great privilege, it is just beside France!

    And I am not anonymous... I am just a too old retread to undestand what the "comment as" button means and works.

    I know it is hard to believe I am a French and not perfect. But I have some Italian blood.


  6. je suis une femme francais et je te souhaite... positif vibe.............

  7. VERY funny! Hoping that the French do indeed realize how lucky they are and begin to feel grateful, appreciative, thankful... and one day even optimistic ;) (Though I know quite a few that can even be called 'happy'!)

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  9. I totally think the French need a Thanksgiving! But so far I have falied to explain what it is to "be thankful for..." to my French friends. I don't think it's that hard of a concept, but they just don't get it. Apparently you can only say merci à someone not à something. Ridiculous.

  10. My head definitely did not explode at this news :) very funny post.

  11. I found your blog via 'Love In the City of Lights' and I'm rolling in the floor over here. You are a hoot!

    My husband and I both share the dream of one day living in France. We like to hear the good stories, but also love hearing the realities too. So happy to have found your blog.

  12. My personal mind certainly didn't increase only at that information: )#) really humorous publish.

    LOL elo boostBuy FUT 14 Coins


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