Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Robots who watch me pee. (aka: Bathroom Afficionado in the Work Place.)

Someone in my company has a serious jones for bathrooms. I've been working in as an IT project manager in this place for nearly three years, and I swear on all that is good and holy that the bathroom changes at least once a month.

They're not extraordinary changes. Your mind will not be blown, but still... it's weird. A new soap dispenser here, a sparkling toilet brush there, but the frequency has caught my attention.

To get to the long & short of it, I'm 78% sure that our janitor is OCD.

I've seen the geezer, we'll call him Monsieur Propre, in his impeccable blue uniform, not a white hair on his head out of place, vacuuming the same 3 square feet, over and over and OVER (poor little chap, never seems to get clean enough.). If there were a crumb left in that carpet from my colleagues' incessant need to cram sweets down my throat, I assure you, it has been sucked into oblivion, never again to see the light of day.

I noticed the expression on his face right away, I mean, how could you miss it really? It was the look of someone who was dredging through a river of pure, unfiltered SHIT. I sometimes wonder what he does after we're all gone.

Maybe he sneaks into the bathroom, shaking his head in disgust at the sinks, then raising his clenched hands, curses the toilet gods for giving him in such a repugnant career. Or maybe he just goes back and vacuums again. Either scenario is possible really, maybe both.

Whatever he does after we leave the office, there is particular consideration is paid to the waste receptacles. We went from plain-ole cans with no lid, to lidded, to lid with the foot-thingy you have to push to make it open, and now... la pièce de résistance...

electronically activated lid-openers.


I literally have a robot watching me pee. Wave your hand at the robo-waste-2000 as if to say "Hello, I want to feed you something useless and/or disgusting" and it opens wide for ten seconds (you can hear the ticking), before snapping shut again.

Now, I love technology. I'm one of the original girl-geeks of my generation... but this? It just seems a tad overboard in the insaniac department.

Either the head janitor:
- Has a fetish that I don't want to know any more about
- Has WAY too much time on their hands
- Is about to be fired, so he or she keeps coming up with replacement can-work to justify their position
- Just really, REALLY HATES GERMS!!!

I bet a plethora of reasons have lead to his maniacal bathroom purchases; whatever it is, I promise that I have the cleanest, most shiny, most technologically advanced bathroom you've ever sat your ass in.

2 comments:

  1. This is probably the most BIZARRE blog most I've ever read! It's very enlightening into modern toilet technology. At least you have somewhere clean to park your arse, lots of other French janitors should take note...

    I would say he has a modern technology fetish combined with a fear of germs and that's he's married to a control freak so your toilets is the only place left he has to express himself. What d'you think?

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  2. Update: they have YET AGAIN changed. WTF? Seriously, five times in 1 year = 4 too many!

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