Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Cinco de Whato?

Ok Frenchies, let's start a list:

No Thanksgiving.
Ok, I get that. You don't care about the **correction: NATIVE AMERICANS***, you never slaughtered them mercilessly to the point of genocide, then stole their birth right, you out right don't give a flying monkey f*ck about them. I guess a holiday wouldn't make much sense. I forgive your general lack of understanding of this classic American holiday and your flagrant disgust of cranberry sauce. You don't know what you're missing, and you don't care.

No Saint Patty's.
Sucks, but I suppose I've no need to get hammered at 8am in the middle of the work week now that I'm over the 25-yr-hump. (Not sure my feeble, aging body could handle the hangover.) I'll overlook your lack of funitiude, and chalk it up to the fact that alcohol has no mysteries left for your noble countrymen and vignerons.

No 4/20.
D'accord, d'accord, though for a city so full of pot heads, I'm still surprised by that one. I can't seem to get through a Saturday evening out without getting a whiff of a slpiff (metro, parc, bakery... yeah that was a bit odd). I suppose you don't need a special day of smoking weed if you're out getting high on the weekends eh?

But no Cinco de Mayo? Really? Not a word in the press. The television, sadly, festiviless. I mean for once, you frenchies are involved. I expected more from you guys.

I miss the states just thinking about all the assholes who are going to go out and do shots of tequila wearing sombreros or painting fake Mexican mustaches on their faces, passing out while doing the Mexican Hat Dance or something else utterly retarded. Where are my fake mexican mustaches? Schools will be doing stupid cinco de mayo parties in spanish class. Where's the party over here?? Obviously not where I am.

The truly sad part is, I doubt ANY Americans know what 5/5 represents, but at least we do our damnedest to celebrate it.

10 comments:

  1. Shan, not to rub it in or anything - O.K., I'm rubbing a bit - I live in San Antonio, TX and it's like freaking New Years around here (fireworks, public intox, et al)! Granted, seeing guys in sombreros passed out drunk on the streets here is a bit like seeing a McDonalds's (they're just there, you know?), and their facial hair is very real, and very smelly. HOWEVER, I'm sure even they save a little something extra for 5 dey Mayo.

    At any rate, I'll enjoy some non-canned salsa and Jose Q for you, and leave you with this:

    AAAAAhhhhh HAHAHAHAHAHaaaaaEEEEEEEEE!!! [Fires pistols in the air]

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  2. I love your portrayal of T-Day btw. Very real. Except that they're not "Indians", they're "Native Americans". You have your pet peeves and I have mine.

    I am sure there are some cool holidays you have there that we don't here.

    EJ LOL!

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  3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinco_de_Mayo

    Do you expect the French to celebrate loosing a battle to the Mexicans?

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  4. @EJ: Salt, meet wound. Siiiigh.
    @Elbie: They do have a TON of fab holidays & days off, which is exactly why I find it funny that the american ones are all kind of snubbed.
    @Gigi: Yep, already got crap for this. Believe it or not, I DID wiki this before I wrote! We celebrate it in the states & it's not like we have any good reason right? Hmm I guess I just miss what EJ is enjoying lol.

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  5. Do you, in the USA, celebrate the day you lost the Vietnam war? I'm just saying...

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  6. Point taken, still I'm not sure that's a great comparison or the US wouldn't celebrate it either lol. Once again, the Frogs are proving their intelligence... 'mericans will jump on any ole band wagon when tequila is involved ;)

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  7. Viva Cinco de Mayo! People of Mexican descent: not so much. Never understood this way of thinking.

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  8. "D'accord, d'accord, though for a city so full of pot heads, I'm still surprised by that one. I can't seem to get through a Saturday evening out without getting a whiff of a slpiff (metro, parc, bakery... yeah that was a bit odd)."

    Hahahahahaha!! This is so true. There is a gathering that hangs out at the bar just at our apartment entrance that is its own little 4/20 group every weekend night. It's kinda like the expression "beer:30" I guess -- anytime is a good time.

    But... a bakery??? New one on me, too.

    "'mericans will jump on any ole band wagon when tequila is involved ;)"

    No kidding. :) I say Viva Cinco de Mayo, tambien.

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  9. Omg, when I was in high school in good ol' Chippewa, those of us in AP French class would get sooooooo jealous of the Spanish classes and their flamboyant Mardi Gras and Cinco de Mayo parties. Meanwhile, our 'special' days involved quietly making crepes with the teacher's special crepe-making thingy whilst being forced to listen to Jordy (that little bastard).

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  10. @Karin: yes, potheads are capable of so many things.

    @Yessica: Don't hate on the jordy, didn't he grow up to be kind of a hottie? If memory serves he wrote a book a couple of years ago as well. In any case, anything's better than JJG. Can't stand that shit. Puke.

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