Thursday, April 29, 2010

What does a supermodel / queen of France smell like?

A couple of weeks ago, I went to fatty-fat-fat weekend at our country house and had the pleasure of meeting some lovely people, eating WAAaaayyyyy too many calories and sampling some fabulous wines. While we were lounging in the yard drinking mojitos and chitchatting I got to talking with one of my brother-in-law's invitees who works for the same record label as Carla. He told me about how he'd met her and how she was nice for the few minutes they had exchanged awkward banter.

Now this is where things got weird. I can't tell you why but a question immediately came to mind, and it just proves how odd a person I truly am. In the same circumstance, thousands of more pertinent, interesting, thoughtful questions would be asked by a normal human being. ie: What's it like being married to a total prick & having everyone ask whether you're cheating on him? How did you feel about the controversy surrounding your last album release as first lady? (Or as I like to call it: Buy my album or taxes will CLIMB dammit!) Do you get like, free clothes & stuff, if so... can I have your cast-offs for a "charity drive"?

I listened intently as he spoke, and just as he finished, barely able to contain myself to let him complete his last sentence and make the classic "pfff" noise as he puffed on a cigarette I blurted out:

"What did she smell like??!!"

With inappropriate enthusiasm, I might add. I sounded like a child asking what Santa Clause smelled like. Must be all these Carla posts, I'm just in too deep and now the gossip is my ear candy.

So what's the answer: "Cigarettes".

Surprised? I was. I thought this queen of chic would smell like FlowerBomb (personal fave), or Orange blossoms, or some impossibly expensive nectar of angel.

Somehow it makes sense in a very Cruella kind of way and I'm imagining her clad head to toe in Dior screaming "GET THOSE PUPPPIIIIIES"...

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