Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What color is her nail polish and how can I make that into a scandal of world-wide proportions?

Seriously, it's beginning to feel a lot like that. As some of you (the good little girls and boys) have read in last Sunday's blog about the conspiracy to make me fat - I have been without the interwebs for a while.

In my absence, I've missed the following stories about the Elysian couple:

- Carla calls the rumors "Insignificant"
Right. So insignificant that you're asked about them in EVERY SINGLE INTERVIEW. Yep. Doesn't matter. Not one bit.

- Sarkozy asked MI5 to look into Rachida Dati
Everyone know that this happened. No sense denying it. If I had MI5 at my disposal I would have already found out:
=> Where Jimmy Hoffa was burried
=> How many licks it takes to get to to the center of a TootsiePop
=> Why Keanu Reeves keeps getting cast in movies despite his wooden performances
=> Where in the world Carmen Sandiego is
=> What you would do for a Klondike bar
=> What really killed the dinosaurs
=> Countless other trivial facts
The urge to splurge is uncontrolable.

- Carla went on the radio to announce to the ENTIRE WORLD that Rachida is still their friend
Blah blah blah blah WHO CARES!!! Bring on the CAT FIGHTS!!

- A documentary about Carla is now on sale
As if there wasn't enough information about her available right now. I wonder how she pees in restaurants? Hover or squat? I MUST FIND OUT AND TELL THE WORLD!!

- Carla's alleged lover, Benjamin Biolay, filed a law suit against France 24 accusing them of starting the rumor
He won the law suit. (yippeeeeeee) And the television station had to pay him the amount he usually drops on a pen. (3K€) Bravo. That was worth it.

- Carla was "caught" reading a newspaper called "Le Canard Enchaîné" that typically holds views that oppose her husband's politics. GHASP!! She READS!!! When did it become such a scandal to follow your own political ideas and not march in lock-step with your significant other? Ok ok, so he's the president... got it. Can first ladies have an opinion? Why do I feel like this is yet another case of "sois-belle et tais-toi" (Be pretty & shut up.)

PS - I'm a shitty journalist, couldn't even find a link to this story! The real one I mean. YOU try it, google Carla Bruni + Paris Match + Canard Enchaîné...  to work my minions!!


4 comments:

  1. I started reading this earlier and then grrr, stupid housework got in the way. And a man who wanted to check his email, too, haha.

    Anyways, what I was most amused by was Google Translate's version of the first article linked from "20minutes.fr" up there:

    ""I came to relativize, avoiding a matter of no importance to take ridiculous proportions," she says in the introduction. The rumors have "no significance", are "insignificant" for the couple, according to the singer. "The concern of my husband, it was the French," insists the First Lady of France. "My concern me is to help my husband.""

    WTF? Did it make any more sense in French? LOL.

    C'mon. This is all a form of never-ending ridiculous entertainment! :) Love it! It's getting so bad it's getting kind of good, you know? :p

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  2. I think the cat fight needs to go down between YOU and Carla. And when it happens make sure it's telecast so people can be charged ridiculous amounts of money to view it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Karin: So true. Instead of whining, I should be kicking back with a bowl of popcorn to enjoy the show!

    @Elbie: Three words... Pay...Per...VIEW baby.

    ReplyDelete
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