Thursday, March 4, 2010

Just HIT IT, DAMMIT!!!

Can someone please explain to me why the French don't know how to high five?

What is so hard about this concept? Someone sticks their hand up in the air, and you hit it. Not rocket science.

How could this tradition, taught to every American child by the age of two, have passed them by? We even teach it to our DOGS for the love of snausasges.

Maybe they get it, but just don't want to gimmy some skin. Is it beneath them? Do they want to bring me down a notch? Are their hands too fragile? Are they afraid of catching my cooties? Did they just pee and not wash their hands, thus want to save me from their cooties? It's a mystery.

Whatever the reason, I seem to be doing a lot of waving at the air lately. Nothing makes me feel more retarded than a confused look when I offer an enthusiastic fiver.

The following scene is all too familiar to me.

Me: "YYEEAAaaaahhhh!!!" [My hand is out stretched, a joyful smile on my face... expecting my reciprocal slap, my eyes are glued to my palm like a cat at a laser pointer.]

Frenchie: [Looks at me like I'm insane.]

Me: [I look back at said Frog, perplexed and a little afraid... then back at my hand.]

Frenchie: [The light bulb has come on. A smile crosses his lips. He shakes my hand and his grin grows wider.]

Siiiiighhhhh....Hopeless.

6 comments:

  1. hilarious. i love a well-timed high five almost more than anything.

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  2. I enjoy a good fake-out myself. Remember when we used to fall for "up high, down low, on the side, too slow?"... ahh, those were the days.

    Bet I could totally fake out the frogs.

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  3. Strange that a culture so into "bisoux" would look down on hand-to-hand contact.

    P.S. I love saying the word "bisoux"!
    "Bisoux bisoux darrrrrrling!"

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  4. Did I spell "bisoux" wrong? Is it "bisous" instead? God, it's been so long since my French classes in my undergrad days...

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  5. Yes(sica) you did. It's Bisous lol. I forgive you, but next time you comment on my blogs, I hope you'll have the decency to spell check for the love of brioche. (PS... just found 3 spelling mistakes I made in different blogs. hmm. Hello kettle.)

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  6. I absolutely agree with you that high fives are under appreciated in France. it's absolute bullshit. I have managed to convert a few, including the 5 year old girl I babysat. if you come across her, her name is Nathalie, and she will totally respond to your high five. but unfortunately il reste à peu près 8.999.999 personnes qui ne tapent JAMAIS cinq.

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