Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy Drunk (AKA: Saint Patty's) Day!!

I've been celebrating St. Patrick's Day since high school. It's the day one of my closest and oldest friends freed herself from her mother's oppressive body, and she now owns a multitude of useless gifts covered in shamrocks and leprechauns to mark the occasion. My mother in law also shares this Bday, so I have a lots of reasons to celebrate. (PS - Happy Birthday El & Maman!!) But it wasn't until I got to college that I realized the impact of this holiday.

The first time St. Pat's snuck up on me was back in two thousand and three. I was sleepily arriving at my day job, I was a web programmer back in those days, and expected another day of coding and testing, nothing more. The lamp posts were still lit in the dim, early morning light and nary could a noise be heard. It was just your average, monotonous, achingly boring Monday. Or so I thought.

Then something caught my eye as I turned the key of the office door. I looked over my right shoulder just in time to watch a three-hundred-pound man across the street vomit (loudly) into a garbage can. Nothing like a good whiff of puke to get you off and running in the morning.

I scrambled inside, half horrified, half afraid, half grossed-out (yes, I know that makes 3 halves - I was very distraught, you see). I bolted the door and watched through the blinds as the mystery hurler spewed several more liters before being carried away by two other intoxicated buddies.

Little did I know, this was a common occurrence in my college town. Saint Patrick's was not just a day to celebrate the British Priest who taught the Irish about the holy trinity, nor to recognize the injustices suffered by Irish immigrants in America during colonial times. (What?? Even I read Wikipedia sometimes). In Wisconsin, Saint Patrick's Day was to celebrate the holy addition of GREEN BEER, stupid little top hats and "Kiss me I'm Irish" t-shirts to our lives, and praise their jovial ways.
The inebriated rendezvous begin at dawn. College students take off from work, or skip class, to get as drunk as possible as soon as possible. Homework can wait; they've got a six pack to pound.

T'is not so here. Everyone is sober. It feels wrong that the French are wasting this opportunity to uncork. I'm missing my Bday-girl in the states, and the drunken crowds in the streets this Wednesday. I took the simple charm of drunk college kids for granted when it was just a part of my day. Au revoir green dyed beer. Adieu Patty-Parties and lime jell-o shots. You shall be missed.


  1. LOVE me some St. Pattys day! One of my best friends has a b-day on Pattys, too. I've secretly wanted to kill him and steal his birthday for years (like the 2 year old, I'm assuming birthdays can be stolen like identities) ... Reminds me of the best commercial ever:

    May the wind always be at your back, and the green puke stay off your shoes!

  2. I think the closest they come here is when they have the techno parade (called Love Parade in Zurich.) Then you'll see plenty of people dressed weird and intoxicated. Though I think throwing up on the street may be illegal in Switzerland ;-)

  3. @ EJ - It's great having a friend's bday on st patty's if your country celebrates it w/ green beer.

    @ Elisa - I'll look for vids of the techno parade. I think I may start a new feature of weird int events... PS I totally want to break that law.

    @ Ashleigh - here is my (forced) credit to Ash for saying "nary" (cred rape alert!)

  4. @ Ashleigh again - OK OK. I give you full and due propers for "nary".


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