Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Dear Passengers, please report all Romanians to the police.

Romania you say? Never been. Nothing against. Oh, except they are ALL a bunch of SCHEMING, CONNIVING THIEVES!!!

According to the French state railroad, that is.

The French rail staffers want you to know that Romanians are a threat to be reckoned with. They may in fact be stealing from you right this very moment. How do you know, have you checked your pockets in the last ten seconds? Didn't think so... aaand you're BROKE.

They're not the innocent swaddling-clad bands of people you see selflessly returning lost rings for a small thank you fee. You've been had, my friends.

Did an innocent child bump you in the metro? I hope you enjoy poverty. The tiny, adorable bandit just bled you dry. Your kids' inheritance is long gone.

The French are serious about making sure you're on to those rascally Romanian scams. Apparently, there was a (not at ALL racist) warning posted that "roughly translated" read:

"Over the past few weeks there have been worries with Romanians. Indeed, a number of bag thefts have been noted. We ask you to redouble your vigilance. Besides, all sightings of Romanians must be reported."

The flames of hatred between France and Romania had been dying, but thanks to this operation, the fires of despise are, once again, fervently burning.

I love this warning. Not only because it vaguely alerts us to the fact that Romanians are worrisome, but dutifully reminds us that ALL sightings are to be reported. All. For any reason. You know, just in case.

So remember, next time you see a Romanian, pull out your big anti-Romanian whistle and blow like there's no tomorrow before they do something really horrible, like ask for equal rights or citizenship.

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