Thursday, December 10, 2009

Eating Disorder (aka: You're late for your obligatory outing.)


In France the social rules are clear. There are no gray areas. There are no "maybes". Frog society has a do or die mentality, and you best not have a death wish or it'll take a lifetime to get back into their good graces.

I'm not a partier, never have been. But I've had to emerge from my hole twice a week for an occasion the last month and a half and I have to admit, I'm taking out all these extra sorties on my unsuspecting colleagues, who I adore ironically.

I can't help it. I'm on outing overload! All I want to do during my lunch hour is fool around on facebook, blog, catch up on email or find out what kinda trouble Lindsay Lohan has gotten herself into now. (I heart that sassy redhead, even if she's become a wrinked, dried up blond hag. A hond. A blag... but I digress.)

This is unacceptable. It's chiseled in stone on the French ten commandments for social integration, and it is number 2 right behind "thou shalt not miss a birthday party EVER":

"Thou shalt go to lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY RAIN OR SHINE with your colleagues"

I can honestly say, that this group is pretty great. The other day they showed me this, Vilky Way, which is the equivalent of SNL over here and I knew that our shared love for poop-humor made us a spectacularly cool group; but I don't need to see them eat.

For now I'm using Christmas as an excuse, but it's not going to last. Guess I'll have to find more merde-humor to bring us all back together when they get mad at me.

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